Smurfism – Symptoms and Infection

Smurfism is an elementary property of smurfs, who apparently can live well with it. Smurfism is present to different degrees in all metamorphic stages of smurfs that are known today.


The core problem with identifying smurfism is that its symptoms are indifferent and contradictory. Antagonistic attributes can even occur in the same individual. Thus for example, some individuals are observed being lethargic, others hectic, and some hectic and lethargic at the same time.

There are so many different and heterogeneous symptoms of smurfism, that researchers have failed so far to name them all, or to classify them. Modern investigations believe that every individual might have its individual symptom, or combinations thereof.

The treatment of smurfism is nowadays limited to mitigation of symptoms. No thorough cure is known so far.

Infection of other species

While it is well known that smurfism is contagious and can affect other species such as delphinus delphis, pongo borneo or homo sapiens, the mechanism of the infection is largely unknown. No virus or bacterium has been found so far that could be attributed to be the vector. Common anti-infectious behavior such as washing hands, avoiding physical contact, wearing surgical masks or protective clothing does not help. Consequently, no vaccine has been found as there is no known target.

While other species can be infected with smurfism, it has not been observed that this infection would turn them into any of the metaphoric forms of smurfs. Although the affected non-smurfic individual develops the symptoms of smurfism, it does not spread the infection any further.

Brain waves

As no microorganisms have been identified for causing the infection, most researchers believe that smurfism is spread by brain waves. Infections have been observed when no physical contact existed between the smurf and the victim, e.g. they were separated by a glass window or a plastic screen. Visibility, on the other hand, appears to be a requirement.

Brain waves are neural oscillations, i.e. rhythmic or repetitive neural activity in the central nervous system. Neural tissue can generate oscillatory activity in many ways, driven either by mechanisms within individual neurons or by interactions between neurons [1]. Local interactions between neurons can result in the synchronization of spiking activity and form the basis of oscillatory activity. In particular, models of interacting pyramidal cells and inhibitory interneurons have been shown to generate brain rhythms such as gamma activity[2].

On all other species than smurfs, these oscillations can be measured by electroencephalography (EEG) only in close proximity of the brain. Smurfs are unique in their ability to bundle and focus their brain waves, and send them into targeted directions, where they are measurable over a distance of several meters.

The projected brain waves travel similar to light, i.e. they penetrate transparent and translucent objects like glass, while they are absorbed by walls.

All scientists unanimously believe that the smurf’s brain waves cause the propagation of smurfism, including the infection of other species. While the infected non-smurfic targets develop the symptoms of smurfism, they do not transform into smurfs themselves. Thus, their brains do not achieve the capability to bundle and project brain waves, so they cannot spread their acquired smurfism any further. The lack of such viral mechanism has prevented smurfism to become epidemic so far.


[1] Neural oscillation, Wikipedia (EN), retrieved 14 September 2008ā€Ž

[2] Whittington MA, Traub RD, Kopell N, Ermentrout B, Buhl EH (2000). “Inhibition-based rhythms: experimental and mathematical observations on network dynamics”. International Journal of Psychophysiology 38 (3): 315ā€“336. doi:10.1016/S0167-8760(00)00173-2. PMID 11102670

Published on 1 November, 2016

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